As soon as I started sports [in high school], I knew where I was going. One day, the track coach was like, “What do you think about running?” Even though the fee to run was only fifty dollars a year, I couldn't afford that. So my coach paid the fee and provided me with shoes and workout clothes. She got me into college at Cal State Fullerton to continue running.

When I win a track meet, I feel empowered. I feel part of something awesome. People notice who we are because we're a good team. I like being looked up to. Kind of like when I'm dancing. The guys are just looking at you like, “Dang!"” I think that's cool.

I got curious about dancing when my sister-in-law was giving out really good Christmas presents. We thought she was just working at a coffee shop! Then she told us she was dancing, and I thought, That sounds fun.

The tryout was during the day, which was good, because there weren't that many people there. My sister came along with me, and my husband. When they called my name, “Introducing Leilani onstage," I was so nervous. The funny thing is, I was more scared of falling than taking off my clothes. My legs felt like Jell-O, and I thought people were going to notice how much I was shaking. Eventually, I took off my clothes, but not that gracefully, so it was kind of funny.

Now it's totally natural for me to take off my clothes. Before I started dancing, I used to be self-conscious, especially of my boobs. I thought I wasn't pretty enough because I wasn't tall enough or didn't have big enough boobs or something. Dancing made me more comfortable about my body. Instead of being, “My boobs are too small” or “I'm too short,” I'm happy with what I have.

I knew I was cute, but I wanted to be sexy. My husband showed me how to move and stuff. A big thing to have when you're dancing is eye contact. If you have eye contact, that means you're interested, so guys are like, “Oh, she's into me.” They get hooked. Their fantasy is basically having a cute, hot girl for a few minutes.

I'm fulfilling that fantasy, and I think it's pretty cool, because instead of them going out behind their wives' or girlfriends' backs, they just go to a club. It's just innocent fun, instead of cheating on your wife or your girlfriend. I know wives or girlfriends probably wouldn't understand a guy going to a strip club, but if they look at it that way, they might be a little happier about it.

I think it is a fantasy for girls to go onstage. Maybe because they want to see what they can use their body or their sexuality for. Maybe to get attention. I feel empowered because I have a guy around my pinkie, basically. And on top of that, he's giving me money for my time.

Every type of body turns on a different guy. There's tall girls, short girls, thin girls, thicker girls, girls with no boobs, girls with huge boobs, all types of girls. That's the good thing about a strip club; if a guy comes in, I'm sure he'll find a girl he'll like.

Girls are always insecure about their bodies. Always and everywhere. In the sports locker room or in the strip-club locker room, girls are like, “I feel fat. I hate my thighs.” Or “I hate my ass,” or “I want to get a boob job.” You know, a lot of stupid things. This might be a little gruesome, but one girl was insecure about her inner lips, and she got those done. Like, got 'em cut off a little, because she thought she had too much. I was like, “That's going a little too far.” I understand getting a boob job if they're really big and they've started to sag a little. But I don't understand if somebody like me wants to get a boob job. You should be happy with what you've got.

The outfit that works for every single guy is my schoolgirl one. Guys go crazy. I dance to Britney Spears, and ever since I dyed my hair blonde, everybody's like, “I love you, Britney!” It's so funny how a schoolgirl outfit can make that big of an impact on guys. My skirt is actually a real schoolgirl skirt, just slightly altered. Extra short. You're not supposed to look at that sexually, you know?

Guys also love my outfit that has cherries all over it. They like to say, “Oh, man, I would love your cherry.” You know how guys are. Always a little dirty, but just innocent, you know? It's so funny.

I was so afraid to tell my parents. When I told them, my mom was happy about it. She was like, “If you got it, flaunt it.” My dad was like, You should've told me, you know. I go to those places sometimes.” But I don't worry about that. My dad lives over an hour away from where I live. But he was totally fine about it, and it was funny because I was so afraid to tell them, and when I told them, it was no big deal. I made a big deal out of nothing.

My husband doesn't get jealous or mad or anything. He knows I'm working. I'm not doing anything wrong. The guy's not touching me at all. It's an air dance. They can't touch. We can touch their shoulders and stuff, but they have to have their hands on the couch. I'm just dancing around them, and he's fine with it.

One night, I was working, and I noticed there were a few young guys in Cal State Fullerton baseball gear. I was like, “Oh, dang!” I didn't even notice them, because they were in the back, and it's kind of dark there. I was like, “Oh, my gosh, how long have they been here?” I was probably onstage already; they probably saw me, recognized my name and everything. When I saw them, I ran in the dressing room and hid until they left.

Monday morning at practice, two girls were like, “I heard from a few of my friends on the baseball team that a girl on the cross-country team was stripping.” I was like, “Oh, no. Shit, they found out.” The funny thing was, they weren't sure who it was. Just my luck, that night was an all-sports meeting, which is mandatory. So everybody from all the sports were gonna be there. I was like, “Oh, great!” So I didn't put any makeup on and did my hair curly. Hopefully, they wouldn't notice me. As soon as I walked in, all the baseball players freakin' pointed me out and said, “That's the girl at the strip club.”

That's when it started spreading around. My coach was the last person to find out. One of the assistant coaches told me, “Coach wants to talk to you in his office.” He was like, “I don't agree with what you're doing at all. It's morally wrong.” Because of his religious beliefs, he didn't want me on his team if I was going to be dancing. He told me, “You have to quit stripping or quit running track and cross-country. You have to pick one or the other.

As soon as I started dancing, I got off financial aid. I was glad to pay for my own school. So I didn't think he had a say in what I did for work. I told him, “I have to continue working to pay for school.” And he was like, “Well, you can't continue running then.” That was it. He wouldn't say anything further.

That was gut-wrenching, you know? Every day for six months, I would see them practicing and cry. I knew I should have been part of that. Ever since high school, I was used to being part of something. When I wasn't doing sports, I felt like a nobody. I felt the same way when he kicked me off.

I didn't feel it was fair at all that the baseball players didn't get kicked off or anything. But they're a nationally ranked baseball team, so what are they going to do? Kick off five of their most important players on a nationally ranked team? They're not going to do that. If the guys do something wrong, commit a crime, do illegal drugs or anything, they'll still be able to play. I know they will. But when it comes to a woman in a sport that doesn't seem that important, they're not going to care. Losing somebody off the team is no big loss.

Even though the original reason why my coach kicked me off was because of his religious beliefs, when what happened to me became public, the university and the coach never mentioned anything about religious beliefs. Instead, they came out with this Cal State Fullerton code of conduct, which says, “On and off the field, you must represent Cal State Fullerton Athletics in a positive way.” That's when I got mad the baseball players didn't get in trouble. Because they were in the club wearing Cal State Fullerton baseball gear, and here they are saying I'm not representing the school in a positive way by dancing. So I thought that was unfair. Even though I shouldn't have been kicked off for dancing, if they're gonna say I'm not representing Cal State Fullerton in a positive way, they need to talk to the baseball players, too.

One of my teammates pitched the story to the school newspaper. Then somebody at ESPN SportsCenter interviewed me. After that, there were news channels knocking on my door at five in the morning, non-stop. The publicity changed the school's decision on kicking me off. But if it wouldn't have gone public, I don't think they would have really cared.

I've gotten so many letters of support, it's insane. Letters saying, “Keep going on the fight; you're fighting for us.” Because, basically, there are similar circumstances with women trying to succeed and being stopped because of their sexuality.

I hate when guys or girls are stereotypical about strippers. When people started finding out I'm a stripper, more guys were coming up to me, “Hey, what's up?” I'm like, “What the hell? I'm not easy just because I'm a dancer.” As soon as they find out I'm a stripper, they think I'm a whore.

Or somebody thinks I'm not smart. They would never think I'm going to school. I love my job. I'm not ashamed of what I do. But I hate it when people stereotype what I do, because, I swear, 75 percent of the girls that are [dancing] right now are eighteen to twenty-two and are just working to pay for school.

I think girls are powerful. I don't know if guys think that, but we have power over men. They have no idea, but we do. Because of our sexuality, the way we're looked at throughout our life. All girls are looked at as sex symbols. I think it's empowering being a woman.

I learned that power when I started dancing. I didn't know I had that sort of power before, because I was shy. I wasn't flirtatious, and I didn't use my body for power. When I started dancing, I knew what I had, and I knew how to use it, and it was cool.

Sometimes women are held back. I would like it if women's sports were more popular. We're always fighting for something. That's the hard part. We're fighting for being just as important as men.

Greenfield, L. (2002). Girl Culture. San Francisco, CA: Chronicle Books, p. 118, 120, 122. Retrieved April 21, 2005 from http://dizzy.library.arizona.edu/branches/ccp/education/girlculturefacultyguide/.